Charlie Chaplin vs. Buster Keaton: Epic Rap Battles That Will Never Happen
ERBTWNH #2: CHARLIE CHAPLIN VS. BUSTER KEATON (Nice Peter as Buster Keaton and Epic Lloyd as Charlie Chaplin) Charlie Chaplin: You're Living a Dog’s life! I am better than you in every way I’m the Great Dictator, Charlie Chaplin, and I’m here to stay I’m busting your balls, Buster, and this is more painful than lung cancer You’re a trance-stance prancing alcoholic dancer, by chance? My middle name is Spencer, cause I’m dispensing these sick rhymes I have fans of all kinds, all you have are mimes You're The Kid! I’m a New York King! I’m killin’ your crap! Your meant to be a silent comedian, you can’t rap! I’ll knock you through the walls of your Parlor, Bedroom and Bath I’m everywhere, its called fame, bitch, prepare for my wrath Buster Keaton: More famous than me? No one even knows where you were born And four wives? Your like dispensable porn I’ll painfully chain up your brain veins with your own cane Your efforts for fame are in vain, Houdini gave me my name Your not funny. At eighteen months, I fell down stairs I’m Buster now, and you better say your prayers That I won’t harm your precious moustache hair It’s not you that’s famous, it’s your appearance that’s known You were exiled from the U.S., and then you died alone Charlie Chaplin: Nobody cared? Someone stole my body, fans love me so much Your career is moving fast, you better hold tight and clutch I’m the first one on the cover of Time magazine, All you have been on is too much caffeine, And you shouldn’t be talking about wives, you’ve had only one! And your face always looks like you’ve been stunned, even while you run, You're the great stone faced disgrace I lived passed 70, and that’s not your case, I have more talent than Fatty Arbuckle has fat, And sure as hell I’m proud of that! Sure, Lock Jr. you Behind the Screen at One A.M. When it comes to rappig in silent movies, I’m fucking Eminem! Buster Keaton: You weren’t trusted for the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and why was that? You looked too much like a communist rat! My designing and staging makes you look flakey and fakey I worked on my projects daily, Let’s get crazy, Run you over with a Steamboat, I am a God You’ll be sitting back, awed, go back home to your broads, Your childhood is anything but comedic And your rapping, ugh god, it makes me sick! I’ll use your bowler hat as a toilet bowl to excrete my turds Your innocence died as your mother was still uncured Your so bad and you’re such a fucking nerd That you entered a charlie chaplin look alike contest... AND CAME IN THIRD! You can’t even rhyme, you're not sublime, You won an Oscar for Limelight, after your prime? “The General” was labeled the 15th best movie of all time! I broke my neck, didn’t notice at first So this is my last verbal curse before I disperse Your daughter is so ugly, I discover In your movie “Chaplin”, she played your mother. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH